First Things First: A Biblical Order for Marriage

Hey, hey. What's up, Journey Church? How y'all doing? [cheering] Central Oregon in the building. [cheering] [applause] Tell you that y'all are a big deal. I just need you to understand the magnitude of the big deal. Like, the enemy tried to play all the games that he could play and there's no place we'd rather be. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man. Uh y'all can have your seats. And I'm super super grateful that we get the opportunity to be here uh with y'all on Friday [singing] night. Come on in. Pack is not on. All right. Let me see. Let me see. Got you.

Yes. Let me see. Oh, I was just looking at the booty. Sorry. My mic is on apparently. I'm sorry. But I'm married and it's Friday. Friday night. Night. That's right. All right. All right. What's up y'all? I am Montel Jordan. Jordan and this is our No. Okay. Test test. There she is. Yay. Yay. And I am Kristen Jordan. Amen. [laughter] And this is our first time here uh at Journey. Yes. But we feel right at home. Yeah, we do.

So, I want y'all to please feel comfortable with us. We are your extended uh f. We think of us as your cousins from Atlanta. Yeah. We're just your cousins from the ATL. Uh, and uh, we know that it's Friday and some of you are getting off work and uh, just allow the Lord just to allow you to laugh and just decompress. There's no expectation for you tonight. It's date night. Some of y'all got you uh, you be able to unload the kids for a little bit. Maybe you went for a meal or something, but we believe the Lord is going to show up uh, for y'all tonight. We want to start out. We got to honor uh the man of this house, uh Pastor Keith and Kara. Can you give your pastors a round of applause?

Yeah. We love you. We love y'all. We love y'all. We love y'all. They're the real deal, y'all. We love y'all. We go a lot of places and sometimes you're like, "Oh, hi." Amen. Amen. No, but they're the real deal. And they exude Jesus. Yeah. And so that's always a great place to be. I always tell my husband, if God's not there, I don't want to go. Yeah. Well, I I can just say this that when we walked in this building, we came for pursuit uh the other night and when we got here, I walked in uh and the leader of this house was on his face on at the front of the altar. And I saw that and immediately I was like, "Oh, that's my guy. That's my guy right there." there. And so I came to be right along beside him because um you know I believe as the the head goes so the body follows.

So the body follows. And so uh with reckless abandon like that uh you were showing not just saying but you were showing what it looks like to to be recklessly abandoningly going after God. So I want to honor you for that. Uh, also I got a shout out to our friends, the Richardsons to Brandon and Holly. [applause and cheering] We are here because of you. Because we spent a lot of time with y'all coming from here to get to Atlanta. And when it what it took for us to get to to here, y'all, do you know how much these two love us to come to our house? I have a whole new perspective because to get here, Dear Jesus. Yeah. What's up? Y'all tucked away. Yeah. God's bestkept secret. We like it.

That's it. That's it. But we're honored to be here in Bend, Oregon and central Oregon for the Hope for Your Marriage Conference. And um we want to begin by sharing some of our family with you. We're here with your church family. And so if you will throw the photo up of our family. Yeah. These are my cute little babies, y'all. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you can see uh me and my wife. Yes. Yes, we got our daughter Catherine, our son Christopher, our daughter Sammy who's here somewhere, but she's like, "I'm not married." I'm like, "We know." My son Elijah, u Stephen, our son Steven, our daughter Sydney, our son Skyler. Y uh and then we got five grandkids. Oh my gosh. Uh five grand. So much fun.

Love your children. But wow, grandchildren are really cool. And the one that we're holding is the one that runs. everything. All of this belongs to Co. Co runs all of this. Yeah. Believe that. She runs the world. Yeah. And you might look at these photos and uh you get a glimpse of our life, but actually when we look at these photos, we see legacy. Yeah, we do. We see legacy. We have been uh happily married um for 32 years. That's it. To to each other. Each other. Got to say that we're married to each other for 32 years. and we are going to be happily married to each other together forever.

Yeah. Now, that was a good place to applaud, but I understand why you didn't. I understand because when you hear somebody make a statement like that, it's kind of like, well, don't mess it up. Like, like like don't jinx it. But here here's the deal. It's a bold statement and we're here to tell you not only why we can say that. Yeah. But we want you to be able to say that. That's it. Uh so at least as we're trying to get there over the next two days, will you at least say the word legacy one more time? Say legacy. Legacy. When you are legacy-minded, you begin with the end in mind. That's it. And when you're legacy-minded, you understand that marriage was just the beginning. That's it.

But God has legacy in mind in the end. Um, our background just a little if you if you don't know, uh, is from the music industry, music business. Uh, I was a recording artist. My wife is a manager prior to us entering the business. Listen, uh many of you, as pastor, uh sang a little bit, you know a song, uh called this is how [singing] we do it, right? Um if you don't know that song, it means you're too saved. Yeah. Thanks. Good job, pastor. You're doing a good job. [laughter] If you didn't laugh at that, that's you 100%. That's That's you talking about you, too. But tell them why we're here, baby. God loves marriage, y'all. And so do we.

It's the thing that makes our whole hearts come alive. Yeah, that's right. And we love marriage. Yeah. And so we got three objectives. Three objectives. Today, we're going to do three things here for Hope for Your Marriage Conference. Number one, if you can put first things first, you can make it last forever. That's right. You can put first things first, you can make it last forever. And number two, if you can take divorce off the table, you can make it last forever. That's right. Number three, when you strengthen, refresh, and renew your hope, you can make it last forever. That's right. And so both Kristen and I, we have been uh we have experienced families that have been filled with divorce. Amen. Um is that my pack popping right there? Mine. Is it?

Let me just make sure. I want to make sure y'all can hear because I'm holding still. It's popping. Okay. Um, both Chris and I, we have experienced uh families that have been filled with with divorce and dysfunction. Uh, my parents were married uh for 25 years and then they divorced. Uh, and we believe that God has given us a a blueprint to have a successful and a significant marriage uh if we follow that blueprint. And I think it helps us to avoid many of the pitfalls that we may have seen modeled before us. So my parents were married and divorced six times by the time I'm 19 years old. So I saw dysfunction at its highest level. I saw every kind of craziness you can think of um as a child of watching these relationships unfold. But there was one

relationship that was one that we could look at and say, "Okay, this is the real deal." My grandparents were married 60 years and they are some of the most amazing people that I knew. They were the people that introduced me to Jesus. And so we have a moniker and a thought and a belief that if you want to know how something is going, you and you where you're going, you want to ask somebody who's already been there. Yeah. So we asked my grandparents plus applied the word of God. And that's how we came up with something we call rocking chairs and beyond. Have y'all ever heard of the statement rocking chairs and beyond? Anybody ever heard that? Anybody ever heard that? That's cuz we created it. That's that's That's [laughter] what you have. But we're going to we're going to explain it to you. So, uh, absolutely. You know, it's that little cute couple that's sitting on the porch.

Yeah. Rocking back and forth. Oh, baby. You're looking pretty good over there. Oh, I'm doing pretty good myself, baby. How are you doing? I'm doing good. You're looking mighty fine. Well, out of my good eye, you looking mighty fine yourself. Rocking chairs and beyond. Rocking chairs and beyond. is looking out at your legacy to see what God has done for you and done through you and done with you. That's what we're shooting for. And the question is, how do you get to rocking chairs and beyond? And we believe that there's an order that God gives. So, we want to share that order with you today. That's right, Journey Church family. We get the opportunity to share with you what we call first things first. That's God's biblical order of priority. You know, God is a God of order. You know, when we get into the Bible, the exit, the part you don't like, it's this many

cubits high. It's this color and it has to have this many rings. You know, all that. He's a god of order. Order is really important to him. That's right. And so, we're going to discuss this biblical order of priority. So, do us a favor, crowd participation. Would you just take one finger, hold it in the air, and we're going to say, "Our first priority is God." Somebody say, "God." God. God is first. Deuteronomy chapter 6 and verse 5 says this, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength." Notice the word all. Yeah. And I want y'all to know something. Um God does not stutter. He does not. He does repeat himself. facts because if something is important, he will use repetition to draw attention

and to drill something into us. And when he says all, he does not mean some, he does not mean half, he means all. This reminds me of a story when my son and uh he was in middle school. Skyler, the one that was all the way on the left, he's in college now, but in middle school, we used to have to drive all the way across town to go to school. So he would have these big philosophical conversations. Nobody should have really big philosophical conversations at 7 a.m. It's it these big questions just shouldn't happen. But it never failed. Every morning there you is a zinger. It's coming. You can just bet it on this particular day. He says, "Hey mommy, who do you love the most?" I was like, "Ah, come on. This is a setup." But I looked at it and I said, "You know

what? This is going to be a great teaching moment." I said, "Baby, I love God the most." He was like, "Really? More than daddy?" I was like, "Yes, baby. That's what keeps you and daddy safe." He pauses for a second. He goes, "Huh? You know what, Mommy? I love God the most, too. And then I love you the next most." And I was like, he didn't say that. He did. Don't take the hater rape. It's okay. I'm sure he did not say. He did. He did. Hey, read the scripture. [laughter] You got it. You got it. Mark 12:30 says it this way. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, with all your strength. This is the first

commanded. God is a jealous God. Heed that warning. So we have to keep God number one and keep him in his rightful place. And remember, he doesn't stutter. No. But he does repeat himself. And when he says all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, all your strength, he wants all. And all means all. So our first priority is God. If you'll hold two fingers up with us, our second priority is our spouse. Somebody say spouse. Spouse. Second priority is our spouse. Ephesians chapter 5 25 says this. Husbands, love your wives. I think they need a microphone. [laughter] Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her.

Wives, your spouse is God's gift to you. How are you doing with honoring what God has given you? Yeah. Honor God by honoring your gift. And to the husbands out there, your wife should know. Your wife should know what Jesus love is like by the way you love her. I don't know how we doing with that out there, my guys, but I want to give us a definition of covenant marriage. All right. Uh, and this specifically is for a covenant marriage. Marriage is a covenant relationship between three. One man from birth, one woman from birth, and God.

That's a covenant marriage. And here's what I'm going to say. The reason why that statement can be considered controversial is because we live in a world that has redefined marriage. And the challenge is you can't create a covenant by redefining something you didn't create. I don't know if y'all notice, humans did not create the covenant of marriage. And so what happens is as humans we can make contracts can we can make agreements can but only God can make a covenant. We can enter into a covenant but we can't create one. And so get this this means the institution of marriage can change according to whatever laws get instituted.

It means that the definition of marriage may change based on how you redefine what God already defined. But the covenant of marriage has never been open for interpretation or negotiation. And I know this because I once tried to create my own covenant of marriage. Tell them about it, sir. Well, what had happened was what had happened was in my music business days in my formal life, we had the number one song in the world. And at that time, we were in New York City. We went to a radio station called Hot 97. It was one of the biggest stations at the time. There was a woman named Wendy Williams who was super huge on radio at that time. And I remember having the number one song across the

nation. And when I walked up there into the office, uh, she said, "Montel, you got," well, she didn't say, "How you doing?" She said, "Montel, you have the number one song in the world right now." Um, do you have anybody special in your life that you're sharing it with? Now, at the time, Kristen and I, we were hiding our marriage. And we were hiding it because the record label told us if you want to be successful in the music business, men have to want to be you and women have to want to be with you. If you can take those two things, you can be successful in the music business. And I thought to myself, well, I don't know

if I can be a good husband. I don't know if I can be a good anything, but I believe I could be a good artist. And so with that hook, line, and sinker, I took to the I'm going to be uh a single R&B artist going out into the music business. And so when she asked me, "Is there anybody special in your life that you're sharing it with?" I said, "Yeah, I'm married to my music." And I thought that was a cool statement, right? I'm married to my music. But if there's life and death in the power of the tongue, and there is, and I say I'm married to my music, what does that make her? His mistress. And so art starts imitating life or life starts imitating art and we start going

down this tremendous spiral downward because of what I was saying with my mouth. Oh, I'd love to tell you he was by himself, but it's not true. And the truth is is that remember I told you that my parents were married in divorce six times by the time I'm 19. So, I didn't see good functional marriages, right? So, my moniker that my mom would teach me as a kid, independent, self-sufficient, you got this. Everything you touch is going to be blessed. Sounds great, right? Except for it's completely counterculture to what marriage is. I don't need you. I got this. Ah. So, I knew that I was going to be successful in business. It's my moniker. I learned from the very moment I could say words.

But what I didn't know is I didn't know if I could be a good wife. So, when the label says to me, you know, they won't respect you if they know that you're the wife. Uh, yes, they will. Well, then you should not let them know that you're married. Ah, and we bought it hooked, line, and sinker. So, I became Kristen Hudson. And I would tell him, "Listen, I'm going to make you a million dollars, but I'm not going to make you eggs. Are you okay with that?" I'm like, "You could buy a lot of eggs with a million dollars. We're good." And so, I exchanged my rightful title, my rightful position for the title of manager and being Kristen Hudson. But I want like I'm a visual person. So I want you to see this because I want you to understand what's really happening. So

the most important day of my life, right? So it's me and my daddy and this is the day of my wedding and we're at the back of the church and it's me and my daddy and we're arm in arm and we're walking down the aisle and the preacher says, "Who gives this woman to be married?" And my daddy says, "I do." And so what's supposed to happen is is that I'm supposed to come out from underneath the covenant of my father and I'm supposed to come under the covenant of my husband and I am now no longer Kristen Hudson, but I'm supposed to be Kristen Jordan. That did happen on that day. But on the day that we were standing in the middle of the death jam offices, what I said was, "No, thank you. I appreciate it. I got this." such a dangerous place to be because now I stepped under out of his covering and out of his covenant and into my daddy's.

And what that meant for me was addiction, all kinds of lovely fun kicks and giggles, divorce, uh infidelity, all kinds of things that we signed up for. So although this looks good in the natural, what we did in the spirituals that we signed up for a rejection, a rejection of him and his covering. And a lot of times we do that ladies because we think we got it. Yeah. And then not only that in the physical did she reject my name, but something was happening in the spiritual of her not coming underneath my covering of taking the Jordan name. And from that standpoint, that rejection in the spirit also made it super super difficult for us to figure out how we're supposed to submit to each other as a husband and a wife. Like she's the manager. I'm the

artist. Does the manager tell the artist what to do or does the artist tell the manager what to do? And from that standpoint, uh, we did not know how to submit to each other. And also, she didn't know how to submit to me because I wasn't submitted to God. Let me just go there for just a second. Okay. It is hard for a woman to submit to a man who's not submitted to God. You can't say amen. Say ouch. Either one works. Look right here. Look right here. It's okay. We're here to bring truth to you today. Uh and so one of the things that that we learn though is that if you are in a sim similar situation like that, I want you to know there's there's hope for you because there's a scripture in uh first Peter.

First Peter 3:1 says it this way. In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then even if some refuse to obey the good news, your godly lives will speak to them without any words, they will be won over. Ladies, I've never seen a man be nagged back to Jesus. Not one. But I have seen one loved back to Jesus. I've seen one prayed back to Jesus. And so we have power and authority in our mouths and we have to use it rightfully. So that's right. And so we're going to talk about that during another session, but trust me, when we go there, you are going to love what God does in that space. All right, so let's keep on going. Uh let's take the walk with us.

Our first priority is God. God. Our second priority is our spouse. This is crowd participation, y'all. Y'all wake up. Come with us. I know it's Friday night. Our first priority is God. Our second priority is our spouse. And our third priority is our children. your kids, manage your family. Ephesians 6 and4 says it this way. And you fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and the admonition of the Lord. That's right. I used to think that children didn't come with instructions manuals. Wrong. Uh but that is wrong because we got this word of God, this Bible, and we get the example of what a good good father, what a perfect father looks like. And we know that a lot of blended families are very challenged with aligning with this

priority within God's plan. And I'm going to say something real quick. Uh and um place placing your kids out of order places them in harm's way. Say it again. Placing your kids out of order places them in harm's way. What wife wants to come behind a child? None. What husband wants to come after a kid? None. See, what we miss is that the kids need to know mommy and me come first. That's a fact. Our marriage comes before you, even if you were here first.

I know that hurts some of y'all, but it's the truth. Anyhow, and this isn't just a blended family thing. This is a nuclear family thing as well. Listen, I promise you, there are people in this room that are struggling with this very thing. And you know how I know? Cuz I was. And I wouldn't be here telling you this if it was not the case. Um, I would be challenged enough to tell you that I didn't get busy doing basketball practice and AAOU practice and volleyball and uh, ballet and all the things, right? Moming, right? Is moming even a word? It's a verb. It's a whole verb. Believe that. Okay, but listen, what happens is is that we get so involved with the kids and pouring our lives into children.

[snorts] But if we pour our lives into our children and we forget and neglect the most important relationship you have this side of heaven, you will look up at 18 years and be like, "I don't even know this man." And he doesn't even know me. And these kids, they leave, y'all. We We hope they leave. They leave. Please leave. [laughter] Please. But this is what happens. And let me tell you something. This is probably one of the things we counsel the most and it's right about this those years the kid turns 18, they're graduating from high school and then we they're on my couch because they have no equity that they've put into their relationship with their spouse. This is the most important relationship this side of heaven. Yeah. You get that?

And listen, let's let's dig in there just a little bit. And this is this is why, you know, we're asking the Holy Spirit to show us not just what we've pres presented here, but to show us y'all and to show us the places where where you may need where you may need some massage and and need some help navigating some things. I know guys that are married, but because they had a daughter prior to the marriage and they had relationship with the child with with the young person. They will say, "I love my wife, but my daughter come first." Because the daughter was there first. Or we know moms who were single moms who

had sons or daughters and then when they get married I love this man but my son or daughter come first. And although that is noble and it's honorable it's out of order. Say it again. Because what it does is when God takes that man and that wife and he places them together, they become a covering for those young people, whether they are small or whether they are teenagers or whether they are adults. And when you don't honor this first of what God put together, what's happening underneath here becomes uncovered. And those young people don't know how to respect authority in a home.

And then they don't know how to respect authority outside of a home because my dad didn't make me do it and my mom didn't make me do it. This is a fact and I'm telling you this from experience. Remember all the marriages that I told you about? I wasn't I didn't have to respect them. I wasn't My parents didn't make me respect that person. So guess what happens when I get out into the workforce? How can I submit to a boss? How can I submit to the authority that's placed over me? you are doing your kids a disservice. And what happens is that then they can't keep jobs and they can't become the the children and the go people that God created them to be because you didn't authorize them to understand how to submit to authority.

And if they can't submit to the authority that they can see, how in the altogether God's green earth you expect them to submit to God that they can't see? That's right. You're setting them up for a fail. That's right. It's tight, but it's right. All right. So we moving on. One finger up everybody. Our first priority is God. Second priority is our spouse. Our third priority is our children. Our fourth priority is the church. Somebody say church. Church. The shash. Wow. Fourth priority is the church. Be involved in your local body of believers. Hebrews 10:25 says it this way. Not forsaking or neglecting to assemble together as believers, as is the habit of some people, but admonishing, warning, urging, and encouraging one another, and all the more faithfully as you see the day approaching. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says it this way, "A person standing alone can

be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back to back and conquer. Three, or even better, for a triplebraided cord is not easily broken." That's right. This is why the church, the community, small groups, it's important, y'all. You have to stay plugged in. We do better when we're we're watching, right? See, the thing is is that Weight Watchers, you know why that works? It's not because the food is amazing. Okay? It's because you don't want to stand on that scale in front of that lady and her tell you crazy things, right? When we're watching, we do better. So, that's why it's important. We always do better when someone is watching, y'all. And now listen, let me just say this. I don't know if there are singles in here or if this is all married couples, but here's here's a

dynamic here. When you are single, Journey Church is supposed to have your back. Facts. When you are married, your spouse is supposed to have your back and Journey Church is supposed to have y'all back. Okay. So, y'all missed that. All right. So, All right. So some of your marriages look like this. Not necessarily physically, but your heart posture towards your spouse is like this. Your spiritual disposition toward your spouse looks like this.

But scripture just told us that a person standing alone can be defeated, but two can stand back to back and conquer. So what does that look like? So if we look like this, I don't have time to fight her. She don't have time to fight me. We're in a position where hell is being thrown at you. The enemy is throwing daggers at you. The world is throwing stuff at you. You don't have time to fight her. She don't have time to fight me. Because this is what the word tells us it's supposed to start looking like. But now listen, the word is so good, it didn't even stop there.

It said two can stand back to back and conquer, but it says a triple braided cord. [laughter] All right. Even if I'm tired of her, she's not the woman that I thought I was going to get in

this marriage. I want to be out of this thing. You ain't going nowhere. I'm not the man she thought I was. She's tired of this relationship. She don't want to be in it no more. You ain't going nowhere. One man, one woman, Holy Spirit, back to back. This is what your marriage should look like in the spirit.

Are y'all getting this? Amen. Some of y'all trying to take this rope and choke each other with it. That's not That's not what it's for. [sighs] H y'all doing all right out there? Awesome. Awesome. All right, let's take the walk. One finger up. Our first priority is God. Second priority is our spouse. Our third priority is our children. Fourth priority is our church. And our fifth priority is family and friends. Somebody say family and friends. Proverbs 18 and 24 says it this way. Some friends don't help. I'm sorry. Say that again.

Some friends don't help. Just I'm sorry. Just some friends don't help. But a true friend is closer than your own family. We have to know the difference between family and relatives. You guys don't get to pick your relatives, but you do get to choose your family. the people that you do life with, the people who speak life into you, the people who believe in your marriage and believe in your children and speak it over them. That's right. And and here's the the thing, the reason why, you know, we place church first above your family and your friends is because either your family and your friends are going to determine how you see the church or your church is going to help you determine how you see your family and your friends. One is going to have greater influence over the other.

And the way some of y'all families act, you need all the Jesus you can get. Just saying. Amen. Amen. Let's take the walk one more time. Our first priority is God. Our second priority is our spouse. Third priority is our children. The fourth priority is the church. Our fifth priority is our family and friends. And our sixth priority is work. Work, career. Job. And I just felt somebody throw up in your mouth right now just because you're thinking to yourself, "How is it possible that my job can be all the way down here?" Adam was placed on this earth and he was given responsibility for the garden. He was given responsibility for the animals.

That's called a job. And we understand that work is important. And we know this one right here is the most common priority that is misplaced and out of order in God's design for our marriages. And when your priorities are out of place and you put this one up higher on the list than it belongs, you are putting your job and your family in harm's way and you are in danger. Yeah. Understand this. 2 Thessalonians 3:10 says it this way. If you don't work, you don't eat. But if you put this priority too high up in the order, you'll be eating alone. Yeah. Listen, you want to know why we can say that? We did it.

We did it. And we were wildly successful in the world, millions and millions of records, millions of dollars. Saw people all over the world saw all the things. And at home, we're hemorrhaging and bleeding out because we didn't make the main thing the main thing. We did not make our marriage a priority and it is a problem. And if you make your job the name thing, I assure you, you'll get out of it what you put into it and it won't be well. Yeah. And here's the deal, you guys. Most people don't get to the end of their lives wishing they had put in more hours at the office. I wish I had done one more profit and loss statement. I wish I had just gotten one more deal done. I wish I could have one more meeting.

When we sit before the Lord, when we sit before the Lord, he's not going to ask me how many records I sold. He's not going to ask me where did you go? Where are the places you went? We may have opportunities, but God gave us responsibilities. And many of us are exchanging responsibilities for opportunities. All right? And what happens is when we honor God by honoring our responsibilities, we'll talk more about this later, he can give you more responsibilities and he can give you more opportunities because he can trust you. I want you to understand something. At the end of it all, yeah, you will sit before the Lord and your spouse won't be with you. You won't have

a cheering section. You won't have a staff. You won't have people to stand beside you. It'll be you and Jesus. And he's going to ask you some simple questions. And I want you to think about it. Yeah. I'll tell you what he's going to ask me. He's going to ask me, "How did you treat the husband I gave you? What did you do with the wife that I gave you? How did you treat those beautiful babies I cherished you that I gave you? How did you serve in the church that I provided for you? Who did you tell about me? That's real. That's what's really going to happen, y'all. And so, I implore you, if your priorities are out of alignment, today is your day.

Yep. Got to start lining it up. All right, y'all. We almost there. Our first priority is God. Our second priority is our spouse. Our third priority is our children. Our fourth is the church. Our fifth priority is our family and friends. Our sixth priority is our career, your job. And the seventh priority, the final priority is your hobbies, your sports, your special interest. you fantasy football. Where did that even come from? I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Golf. Hey, that was savage. Girls night out. Okay. Hey, hey, hey.

Real talk, Journey. God desires for us to enjoy this life. Yes, he does. But when we place ourselves out of order, even in this order, when we place ourselves I know we need me time. I get that. Yeah. But when we when we place ourselves out of order, we become selfish rather than selfless. And please understand, being selfless isn't thinking less of yourself. It's thinking of yourself less. And in this time where we know mental health, self-care, those things are huge right now. This is why we say you've got to put God first, not the church first, not religion first, not your spouse first, not your ministry first, not your

church, not anything first. If you're placing God first, your personal relationship with Jesus Christ is crucial in becoming the best you possible because the only one who knows you better than than you know yourself is the one who created you in his image and in his likeness. And he has a self-care for you. And he has uh your mental capacity in a space that puts you back together in a way that you cannot do on your own. If anything is out of order or dysfunctional in our lives, we can look at this order of first things first. And we can make a few adjustments. When we make the proper adjustments that need to occur, we can win. That's right.

So, let's go over that order one more time, y'all. One more time. Our first priority is God. Second priority is our spouse. Our third priority is our children. Fourth priority is the church. Fifth priority is our family and friends. Sixth priority is our career, your job. And the seventh priority is me. Me. It's me. It's me. Hey y'all. When you hear that list, take inventory. Like really just be honest. What does your current order look like? We believe the Holy Spirit highlights stuff like something that glaringly sticks out to you that you can look at and be able to know that's it right there. Because what Kristen is saying is that

whenever something is funny in our marriage, whenever we get a little testy, we get a little ah with each other, we can go right to this list. Yeah. and it'll show us what's out of alignment. And it's just like chiropractic work, like spiritual chiropractic work. There are certain vertebrae and certain things that if you got a slip disc or when something is out of order, you have to come in and you have to have those things adjusted because the proper adjustment helps you become aligned. And God can do more with you and through you and in you when you are in alignment with this template that we believe that he has given to you.

It's his biblical order of priority. And we're super super grateful we got to share that with you today. And just take that with you and and listen as you are navigating not only these next days, don't try and fix it all at once. Don't don't try and go back to your spouse, right? and try and put everything like, "Oh, we got to fix." Just focus on one. Yeah. Just be good with, man, we got the children way out of order in this thing. Let's together work on lining that up or let's work on me getting my relationship with with God in order. And you will hear this a lot this weekend because we when we say God is first, what that means is whatever this looks like.

That's what this is going to look like. And it's real. And the thing is is that this is this relationship is the one that can help you the most. One of the things that I learned is that a lot of times when I think it's him, it's not. Sometimes it's me. Okay, 80% of the time it's me. But you got it. But guess what? When this relationship is intact, [laughter] he it's guess what? Guess how I lead. God, if it's me, show me. If it's him, you can handle that. I don't have to handle that.

You got him. Yeah. Um, [sighs] hey, we're going to say a prayer. Uh, and then we got just a couple of housekeeping things before we, uh, start heading into the next part of tonight. Uh, and so, let's just bow our heads for a moment. God, thank you. Yes, sir. Everything you say doesn't always Everything that you say, God, doesn't always feel good. Yeah. And when we hear truth, we either try and take the truth and bend it to meet our lives or we will bend our lives towards your truth.

Yes, Lord. It is my prayer that these couples will realize we are not here to harm them or to hurt them. We are here to help them. Yes. You are here to help them. Yes. And we're just saying what you told us to say. If there is a place in your sons and your daughter's lives that are out of order, show them and help them get functional again, Lord. Yes, God. We trust you. Yes, Lord. We love you. We believe in you. Yes, God. And if you are God, like we believe you're God, we need to act like it. Yes, God. And we put you sovereign. We put you first and ask you to have your way in our lives and start helping make the adjustments that we can't even make on our own. We need you, God.

Yes, God. Step in and do God's stuff and we praise you in Jesus name. In Jesus name. I said amen. Amen. Amen.