Work, Work, Work: Priorities and Commitment in Marriage

Let's just do this. Can you just lift your hand if you're comfortable? Can you lift your hands to heaven? So that priority number one, listen, it's not trying harder. It's just looking at him. Just means he gets your attention. So we're just going to give him our eyes this morning. Is that okay? Let's go ahead.

Praise the Lord, oh my soul. [singing] Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord, [singing] oh my soul. [music] Praise [singing] the Lord. Praise the Lord, [singing] oh my soul. Praise the Lord. [singing] Praise [singing] the Lord,

[music] oh my soul. [singing] Praise the Lord. We give you the highest [singing] praise today. Praise the Lord, oh my soul. [singing] Praise the Lord. Oh, we [singing] lift you up. Praise the Lord, oh my soul. [singing] Praise the Lord.

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord. Open the eyes [singing] of my heart. We want to see you. I want to see you. We want to see you [singing] right. I want to see you. This is our prayer today. Would you open open [singing] the eyes of my heart, Lord? Open the eyes of my heart. [singing] Oh, I want to see you.

Oh, I want to [singing] see. [music] Sing that again. Open the eyes. eyes. [singing] Open the [music] eyes of my heart. Would you open? Would you open [singing] the eyes of mine? Oh, I [singing] want to see. Oh, I want [singing] to see. To see you high and lifted up. [music] To see [singing] you high and lifted up.

Shining in the light of your glory. [singing] Pour out [singing] your power and love as we sing. Holy, [singing] holy, holy. Open the eyes. Open the [singing] eyes of my heart. Open the [singing] eyes of my heart. I want to see make our hearts tend to God. I want to see you open the [singing] eyes.

Open the [singing] eyes of my heart, Lord. Would you open the [singing] eyes of my heart? It's you. Oh, I want to see you. Oh, I want to see [singing] you. Open the eyes. Open [singing] the eyes of my heart to see. Open the [singing] eyes of my heart. I want to see. I want to see your [singing] I want to see

high and lifted [singing and music] up to see you high [singing] and lifted up. Shining [singing] in the light of your [music] glory. Pour out your power and love as we sing. Holy, holy, holy [screaming and crying] to see you. Highly lifted up. High and lifted up. Shining [singing] in the light of your glory.

Pour out your power and love as we [music] sing. Holy, holy, holy, [singing] holy, holy, holy, holy, holy, holy, holy, holy. [singing] I see your face in every sunrise. The colors of the morning are inside your eyes. The world awakens in the light of the day. I look up to the sky and say you're beautiful.

Oh, [singing] yes. You're beautiful. Oh, [singing] you're so beautiful. [singing] Oh, [music] [singing] oh, I see you there. And I see you [music] there hanging on [singing] a tree. For you bled and you [singing] died and you rose again for me and now you are sitting on your heavenly

[singing] throne and soon you will be coming home. Tell them this morning you're beautiful. Oh [singing] would you open our eyes? Oh, would you open our eyes? [singing] Oh, sing when we arrive. When we [singing] arrive at eternity, [music] where death is just a memory and tears are [singing and music] no more,

we'll enter in as the [singing] wedding bells ring. Your bride will come together. Sing that [music and singing] again. When we arrive. Where we are an [singing] eternity shore. Where death [music] is just a me and tears are no more. We'll enter in a waiting. [crying] [screaming] We'll come together and we'll sing your beautiful home.

Would you open [music] our eyes? Oh, [screaming] here's your beautiful home. To see you high and lifted up to see you high [music] [singing] and lifted up shining in the light of your glory. [singing] Pour out your power and love [singing] as we sing holy, holy,

holy [singing] to see you high and lifted [singing] up, shining in the light of your glory. [singing] Pour out [singing] your power and love as we [singing] sing holy, holy, holy. [music and singing] Open the [singing] eyes of my heart, Lord. Open the eyes [singing] of my heart.

I want to see. Give us eyes to see God. Open the [music] eyes [singing] of my heart. Open the eyes of my heart. I want to see you. I want to see. Can we just tell him that we stand in all of him this morning? Sing this. I stand in all.

[sighs] I stand in awe. I stand in [singing] Yes, I stand [singing] in I [singing] stand in. standing on your way. I stand. Who are you [singing] that you're mindful of me? I stand

[singing and music] all that you're doing. I stand here. All that you're going to do today, God. I stand in [music and singing] arms. I stand [singing and music] in arms. I stand in all of you.

You're always better. Yes, God. We thank you for your presence this morning. Can you just say thank you? This is the God that we worship, that we serve. But when we begin to look at him, he responds and we begin to discern his presence. We love you. We stand in awe of you this morning. We stand in awe of you that you're the God that sees, who cares and responds to your people. We're so grateful, Jesus, for opening up our eyes this weekend, that we would see you rightly, and that in turn we would see each other rightly.

God, we thank you for what you're doing in the hearts of your people, every single person in every relationship represented in this room. Even those watching by way of live stream, we pray that revelation would touch our hearts in a fresh way. Thank you for life transformation. Life transformation today. Come on. Can we just say that word life transformation? We're not just here to receive information this week. We're here to be transformed. Come on. Do you believe that? Come on. You believe that this morning? Come on. Come on. So grateful. So grateful. So Lord, we say thank you. We say thank you. Thank you for stirring our hearts in a fresh tangible way.

In Jesus name. In Jesus name. We supposed Brandon, will you stay and just play a little bit? Good morning, family. So, the Lord woke me up this morning and he was stirring my soul about y'all. And I'm so excited for what he has today. Yesterday, we talked about some basics and some fundamentals of marriage. Building blocks, if you will, right? So no matter what we do, whether we're uh playing basketball, whether we are doing

marriage, whether we're doing math, knitting, quilting, rodeo, whatever it is, there's fundamentals, right? Building blocks that you need that are essential for your success in whatever that you're doing. The practical principles that we apply eliminate half of the issues that you will come against if you apply the fundamentals. Fundamentals are the key building blocks and the key structure. I don't want to assume for a moment that we're all playing on the same field. I would be remiss to start you at 8 and not give you one through seven. Say it again.

I would be remiss to start you at 8 if you don't know one through seven. God is not trapped you. He's not trapped by time. He's not trapped by anything that you are experiencing. What was stolen over several years can be restored suddenly. in a single moment. This entire thought process, this entire prayer that I experienced this morning was something that was sparked by PK on Thursday night. God doesn't move quickly, but he does move suddenly.

[applause] In a single moment, he can restore what the canker worms and the palm worms have eaten. And everything that the enemy has strategically tried to strip from you can be redeemed suddenly. Amen. Why do we share these stories with you? Why do we give you glimpses into our lives? Why do we give you this gift of vulnerability? Because the word works. And if he did it for us, he has to do it for you. He's no respector of person. God's not like us. He doesn't play favorites, y'all. If he did it for us, he has to do it for you.

But you have to know the word to work it. There is hope on the other side of this mountain. Amen. Whatever the obstacle you find yourself in, whatever the situation that you find yourself in, the only reason he chose us to be here is cuz we offer hope on the other side of the mountain. There is nothing that we've seen, nothing that we've been through that I can tell you that the Lord God didn't bring us out of. Amen. I used to ask myself, I'm be honest with you, I used to ask, Lord, I don't get this. Why? Why do we have to do this? Why do we have to go through this? I live this, walk this, breathe this. I love you with every fiber of my being.

Why? And he said, "Cuz it's not about you, daughter. It's not about you. And I'll give you double for your trouble. [gasps] God is a God of the fundamental. His word is true and he activates with promise. The word he gave for me this morning for you is Joel 2 and 25. The reason I'm excited is because if you don't know it, the word is active. It's alive and it's sharper than any two-edged sword. When you speak the word, everything changes. His word says God will restore the years that the locusts have eaten.

We're about to pray. And I need you to focus with me today. Today's just not another day. Today is an extraordinary day. It's an appointment with the living God of the universe. The one who created you. the one who loves you more than anything. So much so he died for you and he do it all again. And not for like you, like you. You. I want you to capture that. Not you. Yes, you. But you specifically, daughter of God. You specifically son of God.

I get excited about the word, you guys, because what I know is when God gives us a word, it changes everything. Amen. Let's pray. Papa, we receive restoration. Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus, right now, we come into agreement with every person under the sound of my voice. You are the God of restoration. Your word declares in Joel 2:25 that you will restore the years that the locust have eaten. So today we stand on your promises. Every year, every opportunity, every season that felt wasted, we bring it before you right now. We bring it before the throne of heaven. Right now we declare that restoration is being released in the matchless name of Jesus.

Every spirit of delay, every spirit of stagnation, every assignment sent to slow down the God orained destiny over these lives, we rebuke it now in the name of Jesus. You must loose your grip and let these people go, release what you have been holding and leave them now in the name of Jesus. every cycle of setback, every pattern of loss, every demonic resistance that has kept them in circles and cycles, we break that in the power of the matchless name of Jesus. You will not repeat what God has already called finished. We declare over your lives that this time is being redeemed. Momentum is being restored. What took years, God will restore in a single moment suddenly.

Be open to the moment that God has in store for you today. Lean in. Listen, son. Listen, daughter. Be intentional about what God wants to share with you today. Every blessing that has been held up, every door h has been shut prematurely, every opportunity that has slipped through your hands, we call it back in the name of Jesus. And by the authority of Jesus Christ, we declare that the enemy must return everything that was stolen. Not some things. I said everything. Your peace, your joy, your finances, unity, marriages, family legacy, purpose.

I command it to be restored in the matchless name of Jesus. Not partially but completely. a sevenfold restoration, divine acceleration, supernatural recovery. And we speak this in the matchless name of Jesus. I need you to say this after me. I receive restoration. I receive restoration. I will not be delayed. I will not be delayed any further. any further. My years My years are being restored. are being restored. Say that again. My years. My years My years are being restored. Being restored. Seal that work right now, Lord. Seal that work right now, Lord.

Let us be evidence. Let us be evidence. Let there be fruit. Let there be fruit from this conference. From this conference that impacts family legacy that impacts family legacy and produces godly fruit and produces godly fruit. Let this be undeniable. Let this be undeniable restoration in our lives. restoration in our lives. We pray this. We pray this in Jesus name. In Jesus name. Amen. Amen. Everybody say amen. [cheering] Amen. Come on. You can do better than that. That's a It's a good word this morning. [cheering] To God the glory. [applause] Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. God bless you all. God bless you. You may be seated. Woohoo.

Wow. That's uh that's good this morning, man. Y'all have no idea. My wife uh came in like on fire this morning. Like literally, she walks in the front of the bed like, "Yo, the Lord gave me this." And what she just did right there, she did that as I just sat up in the bed going, "Yes, Lord. Yes, Lord." Before we get in, man, I just I'm excited. Yeah. I'm excited for today. And just we got a lot today. We got a lot of notes. We got a lot of points, but we really want to be Holy Spirit led. Yeah. So that what we give to you is not what we prepared, but what God has prepared. And so if we pivot, if we move, if we shift, y'all just just ask the Lord to be with you and to be with us because we want to be wherever he is. That's that's

the safest place for us to be uh in the will of God. And uh what would just came to my mind is y'all are not called destination church. No Lord have mercy. Goodness night. Say it again. [laughter] You no no no no shout out. I don't know where that church is or whatever. And and God bless them. Um but this church wasn't called Destination Church. That's it. I'm a words guy. I love words and I love to dissect them. I love to understand to rightly divide the word of truth. And you're called journey church. That's it. Like you're called journey church. And I would imagine most of you are on some

form of journey. Journey. That's a word. Whether it be in your marriage, whether it be um in with your children, in your health, um with your faith. Yeah. there. You're you're on a journey. And I just I want I want you to know that that God is okay with that. Yeah, he is. He's okay with you being on a journey. He is okay with you not having arrived yet. Yeah. Because a lot of times it is not the destination, but it's the journey. That's it. And we believe that today is a part of the journey. And I want you to know that a journey takes work. Amen. Um and uh last night, just to recap just real quick. Yes, Lord.

Last night was fire. Like not just like fire pits fire, [laughter] but we had a good a good time last night for those that had to leave or or get your kids and everything. Uh we appreciate that everybody was not only here last night, but that you came back, you know, and so come on, give yourselves a round of applause for returning on a Saturday. [applause] Um we are we we are ready to give you everything God uh gave to us. Absolutely. And um so we shared last night that Kristen and I have been married uh to each other uh for nearly 32 years now. June it'll be uh 32 32 years. Yeah. Um which is like in music business years it's like 119. 117.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. 17. I can go with that. Yeah. 170 119ish years. Um, and we are going to be married to each other happily together forever. Forever ever. Forever ever. And with forever in mind, we have a couple of objectives and and I do want to say this really quickly. What Kristen was saying about we can't give you eight without first giving you one through seven. That's correct. what she gave and what we gave you yesterday was fundamentals. It was foundational. It was structural. Because the things we're going to give you now, you're going to be building upon those first things, those first things

first things. Because if you don't have a sound foundation, a sound structure, you're building something else on something that's unstable. That's correct. And so we want you to be stable. We want you to be in a space where understanding as you are building those first seven, those first seven blocks and putting those in order and putting those in structure, these other things are going to help supplement those first seven things that we gave you on yesterday. So today, we have a couple of objectives. Yeah, we do at Hope for Your Marriage Conference. That's right. Listen, number one, if you work the word, it will work. You get that? If you work the word, the word will work.

Number two, if you take divorce off the table, you can make it last forever. All right, say that again. If you take divorce off the table, you can make it last forever. Number three, when you strengthen, refresh, and renew hope in your marriage, you can make it last forever. That's right. And I know that part of this the whole theme for this hope for your marriage conference is because we want you to strengthen your marriage. We want to refresh your marriage and we want to renew hope for your marriage. And marriage takes work. Yes, it does. Friendships, relationships take work. They do. And many of us we are spending time, energy and effort focused on our

nineto-5 at the expense of our five to nine. Say it again. Somebody missed that. When you get off your job, that's it. That's when the real work begins. Your 9-to-f5 is where you spend your time, but your 5 to9 should be where you're investing your time. Yeah, I'm preaching better than you're responding right now. And and so this morning, we're ready to put in some work. We're ready to put in some work to help you with your five to nine. And uh y'all are in a season of strengthening, refreshing, renewing marriages and families and and hope for your family legacy. And so we want to sew and impart and invest uh in this message today that we call work work.

That's right. Or as prophetist Rihanna would say, work work. Yeah. Yeah. All right. No, but seriously, listen, listen, listen. Some of y'all are too holy. You don't even know what that was. Don't look that up. Keep filming. Great job with me. Okay. [laughter] Great. Okay. Okay, we have five practical things that we can walk away with today so we can have a stronger life and a stronger marriage. And in the midst of forever, ever, we can do it this way. That's right. In the word of God, it says it this way. Colossians 3:23 and 24. Whatever you do, work heartily or ask for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance of your reward. You are serving the Lord Jesus Christ.

That's right. Right. That's right. Now, I don't know how many singles. I know there are people who are serving here. Whether you are married, whether you are single, whether you are engaged, whether you're newly married, whether you're dating with the intent uh uh with intent, whether you're flirting to convert, I don't know. Um but anybody, if you have ever heard someone say, "Yep, marriage should come naturally. [laughter] You shouldn't have to work at it." Lies. They're lying to you. From the pit of sh lies. They are lying. They are divorced. They are single by choice. They are delusional. Facts. Listen, we giving y'all 123 years worth of [laughter] marriage advice here. Um,

we promise you marriage takes work. It takes energy. It takes effort. It takes sacrifice. Listen, sacrifice. Do y'all know why weddings take place at the altar? Think about that. Because that's where sacrifices are made, [laughter] right? I know. Whoa. Right. Whoa. Two people come to the altar and one person walks away. Marriage is where two people die so that one person can live. M I know it's tight, but it's right. Come on, y'all. If you work the word, the word will work.

So, here are five ways that the word works in your marriage. Yep. The first thing is make the main thing the main thing. Please don't major on the minors, y'all. Get your priorities straight. Remember, we talked about this last night. Last night we learned some of those things. And we were never designed to balance things. We were designed to put things in their proper priority. So this is a little refresher. Are you ready? That's right. Are you ready? Come on with us. Come on with us. Our first priority is God. Our second priority is our spouse. Third priority are our kids. Our fourth priority is this church. Our fifth priority are our family and friends. Sixth priority is our job or career. And our seventh priority is me.

Is me. Is me. And here's what's important with that, you guys. We said when the the the foundation of those seven, uh the first has to be God. Yes. Uh because whatever this looks like, that's what this is going to look like. In other words, if your relationship with God is sometimey, your relationship with your spouse is going to be sometimey. If your relationship with God is I really only talk to you, God, when I need something, your relationship with your spouse is going to be I kind of come to you when I when I need something. And so, whatever this looks like, yeah, that's what this is going to look like. If this looks like, if this is deep intimacy, can you even imagine what this going to look like?

Yes, men. Men. In other words, in other words, the way she came the cheat code, y'all. The the way she came in on fire this morning. I'm I'mma get some. [laughter] [cheering] Listen. Listen, Glory. I'm I'mma tell you something. This is the craziest thing. There is nobody who knows this man more than Jesus. Like, if I want to know something about him, why don't I go to his father and figure it out, right? He's going to tell me what he needs. And I got all he needs, Lord. All right. Yeah. Listen, this is nasty talk on a Saturday morning, and I love it. You can't go marriage conference tight. This is preparation talk right now.

Praise the Lord. Uh but listen, we talked about anything that's out of order, what it does is when you don't make something when you don't uh anything that's out of out of order becomes the main thing. So you make the kids the main thing. You make job the main thing. You make the church the main thing. And whatever you do, it puts your priorities out of alignment. And whatever is out of order becomes like a house of cards. We had an instance one time. I can remember this about making the main thing the main thing. uh compounding on last night's uh uh theme. Um I had an opportunity uh to worship at an event in Marietta, Georgia. Uh it was a radio station 104.7 the fish at the time. Um and they had a concert called Celebrate Freedom and Celebrate Freedom has without an with

throughout an entire day a 100,000 people. It's a festival that they come out like a Christian festival and just have worshiply just worshiping and praising and praying all day long but with a 100,000 people. Uh and they had asked our worship group to come and to be a part of that event. Just so happens that same Saturday, that same day, uh at the time, our son Skyler, uh he was what, seven years old? Six or seven years old at the time. Maybe a little older. Like 10. Like 10 years. Okay. He had a football game. Yeah, the same day at the same time. So, I'm like looking at that and we're like, "Okay." I went to the people at the radio station and went to the and I said, "Hey guys, um, we know that we're

set what a big honor to come and worship in front of 100,000 people, 100,000 souls that we can reach for Jesus." I was like, "Okay, we're set to go on at 2 o'clock." Yep. My son's game is at 2 o'clock. Is it possible that even because it's not the height of the day and maybe not as many people are there in the morning, would you give us a morning time slot so that we can go earlier and still worship and still contribute to the event? And they said, "Well, uh, Pastor Montel, we we we cannot do that because some artists have to go on and we have to get them out because they have flights later on in the day." I said, "Okay, is it possible then that we can go later on in the evening? Like you could put us on like a six or seven or you know so that we can and they said we have the headliners who all are going on at 7 8 9 Pastor Montel.

There's there's no way we can shift the time. Uh you two o'clock is it like it has to be two o'clock." And I I wrestle with that. I wrestle with that. Am I coming in and out on my Let me put this here. That's all right. Stand up. Yeah. I want to make sure I'm going to be coming in and out here. Um, so I wrestle with that because as a as a pastor, as a minister, as a worship leader, uh, you got 100,000 people, you know, that I had an opportunity to worship in front of. And so what we basically did was we told our worship team, "Y'all go at 2 o'clock, lead worship. Montel is not going to be there. Montel is gonna be at his son's football game. Now, here's here's this is this is a this is big here. We went to our son's football game. We watched the game.

First or second play of the game, they hand him the ball. He runs like for a 70 yard touchdown and I'm running along the sidelines. I want you to see like we are those parents. We are running along with him on the sidelines. Absolutely. Absolutely. And we got a chance to see that. we got a chance to experience that. Now, the the point of of that is God gave me the opportunity to worship in front of a 100,000 people. God gave me the responsibility for one and some of us are exchanging our responsibilities for opportunities. Some of you missed that.

Some of us are exchanging what God made us responsible for. Yeah. For what we have the opportunity to do. Would it be wonderful to lead worship for 100,000? Yes. But God didn't make me responsible for a 100,000. He made me responsible for one. And what happens is if I learn to take responsibility for what God gave me, he can trust me with more opportunities. So, here's how that story ends. We go to the Sun's game. We come back to celebrate uh freedom later on that night. When we get there, it's like, you know, 600 7 o'clock at night. And there's literally a 100,000 people, wallto-wall, packed. Oh, it's the evening now. You know, it looks like a a queen concert out there without [laughter] the a queen concert for the king. You see what I did there?

Um, but we're out there and one of the one of the major groups, the headliner group is a group called Third Day. Yeah. Uh, y'all familiar with with Third Day? God wonders with all your fantasy. Yeah. Mac. Powell. Mac. Powell who's now a friend at that time heard that I was there and that I had to leave. And he was like, I I want to meet I want to meet Montel. And so they bring me back to M. Pawa's dressing room and he's like, "Hey man, uh, do you know this song, God of Wonders?" I'm like, "Of course I know God of Wonders." He doesn't know God of Wonders. And he's like, "Well, uh, I want you to sing it with us tonight, you know, in this in the in the in the the big uh heyday of the closing of the concert." And I'm like, this closing song?

I'm like, "Okay." And so we practiced, we rehearsed the song, and then that night as the closing of this entire event with the headliner, I'm worshiping in front of a hundred,000 people with an opportunity that I did not make for myself, but the opportunity was granted to me because God could trust me with my responsibility. M now I say that to say some of us have been sacrificing our families on the altar of ministry. I'm going to cook just a little bit longer. Some of us are sacrificing our families on the altar of work, the altar of

ministry, the altar of whatever that altar is. You're sacrificing your family because you are making an exchange in for an opportunity. And listen, marriage is extremely important to God. All throughout the Bible, he calls uh the church his bride. Emphasis on his it's it's his bride. And so I wanted to say this that um when it comes to like our our our pastors, uh I want y'all to know as a church uh Kara is Keith's wife. That's it. Not y'all. Not y'all. Yep. Journey is not Pastor Keith's wife. Amen. Now, some of this type of teaching might offend some of y'all. Do y'all I've seen SEC Y'all got security out here Monday.

So I feel I feel safe. I feel safe. But but here's the point. Um when I make a statement like that, when I say the church is not his wife, Kara is his wife. What happens is if that feels a certain kind of way to you is because you have an incorrect expectation of what marriage is. How can Pastor Keith effectively take care of God's bride and not take care of his own first? I'm preaching better than you're responding. That's out of order. Journey. Y'all are his opportunity. Mhm. Kara is his responsibility. That's it. You are not his wife. Hey, and you need to understand that because as the church continues to build, a church continues to grow. You can have an expectation of the man of God. Well, he didn't show up for at the hospital.

He didn't do this for me. He didn't do that. His responsibility is to have relationship with God. And after his relationship with God, to have a relationship with his spouse. and after to have relationship with his spouse, to have relationship with his children, and then after having relationship with God, his spouse, and his children, that's where y'all come in. Y'all come in, y'all. Number four on the list. And whoa. [cheering] And let me keep it a a buck with you. Really, as a pastor, it's not four. This is his church. He loves you. He lays his life down here, but this is his job. So, it's really number six. So, like I really want that to resonate with you because I think sometimes we have an unrealistic expectation of our leaders.

And I need you to know that if he doesn't have a healthy marriage because you're calling him into your unhealthy situation, you can't expect the church to flourish and do what it's supposed to do. Correct. That's right. All right. I know it's tight, but it's right. It's tight, but it's right. So, uh All right. So, our first way to work work is to make the main thing the main thing. All right. Second thing to talk about is R O I return on investment. Our business people will love this. This right here, Matthew 6:21 says it this way, for where your treasure is, your heart will lie also. Yeah. Whatever you invest your time in or on, you will get out whatever you put into it. That's right. Whenever you make an investment, it's where you can expect a return. That's right. So, we had an opportunity.

We showed y'all pictures of this uh this estate, this Jordan River. Um, man, what it took to get that property is absolutely insane. We don't have time to go over the entire story, but literally a $3 million property when we first were looking at it dropped into a $2 million window because it was in an estate of somebody who had passed away in CO. And so we now are set to we are now set to try and gather this property. And in doing so, um, we put a bid on an offer on the house. Okay. So, you know what? I have to go here and I've already been licensed. Okay. So that I can Holy Spirit leads. Good. Shouldn't have did that. So [laughter] the reason why this is important because I need you to understand that the things that God ordains if you add your faith

to them and you walk a little bit on water. Do you know that when Peter is in when he's in the boat and Jesus says come, there's like everybody else is listening too. How come he didn't say Peter? He didn't say Peter come. He said come. Peter's the only one that listened. Just a thought. Okay. So, in that So, when we're about to acquire this property, so like we were doing this study and it was so crazy and God was challenging us in our giving and it was it was wow y'all. So, right before this, the Lord had challenged us and asked us to give everything. Picture that.

Okay. So, now we decide we go to uh we follow the instruction. We go we give it all. And now we're fast forward and the Lord is saying, "We want you I want you to buy a retreat center so that we can help marriages." Uh sir, do you or do you not remember the time that we just gave away everything? That part. Remember that part? Guess what? Yes. and keep looking because I I needed to eliminate any possibility that you think that this is about you. Any possibility that you would possibly think that this was something that you could have done by yourself. Okay. Now, pick up. All right. So, [laughter] context is king, guys. Yes. So, we now have a certain amount of time to we put in an offer on this property and the same night we put in

the offer for like $1.9 million on this property, they they come back that night and they're like, "Yes, we accept the offer." We're like, "Okay, great." So, we now have three days, three days to come up with earnest money,000 and we're like, "Okay, okay, okay. Somehow, fantastic. We're able to look through X, Y, and Z, scramble, and we're able to get that earnest money, which now means we have 44 days to come up with $400,000. Okay, this will be great. But you know what? What resonates me when I'm standing there is I was like, you know what? Your vision, your pro vision. Yeah. If you want this to happen, you're going to make it happen. Listen, this is way be I'm so far out of my league. Yeah. Let's go. Yeah, we out here walking on water, y'all.

Absolutely. And like literally walking on water. We we um and God show us how this is going to come. And so somehow um we get um somebody says, you know, Montel, we do these shows normally. We want you to come perform and we want you to perform for this and we'll pay you double for what what that is. I'm okay. Well, that's fantastic or whatever. And then this event happens and like literally God starts opening up the the windows and money starts coming out of out of nowhere and then we get this opportunity uh to be on the mass singer and the mass singer comes along and that's a nice chunk of change and and then a television show called Special Forces uh comes along. It was on Fox and I end up going Man, when I see this scarel y all like I just want Okay, so in your mind I want you to close your eyes for a second.

Think about the thing that you're most afraid of. Okay, that this one heights and water doesn't swim. So, I just have to give clarity in regards to what they've just asked us to do. Now, I open up the scissor and the silver bell is them dunking people to the bottom of a river and picking up rocks and swimming up to the top. Oh, 10 at a time. And I'm going, um, I don't think so. God, you're going to have to completely be clear with me. We can't have him die in the bottom of the river. It's not a thing. Okay, which is funny in the bottom of the river. But as I'm watching this, I'm like, Lord, you're going to have to be so clear. Like, it's going to have to be like, you have to let me know that we're

supposed to do this. So, we're doing this event for a friend of ours. Uh, this is like five days before I'm supposed to leave for Jordan, right? Like like over in the Middle East. I'm Gideon right now. Like, let let the fleece be wet and the ground be dry. Like, I'm this. Okay. And so, I'm like, "Okay, Lord. Like, be so clear with me." Like, uh, you got to be crystal clear or we're not going. I'm not going to do it. So, we're doing a an event for a friend of ours, Joey Fetone from InSync. And he says, "I have this benefit concert that I need you to do." I'm like, "It's Joey. For sure. We're gonna do it." So, we go, we show up. We end up there. It is a benefit concert to help inner city kids build pools so that they learn how to swim. Hosted by Michael Phelps, the most

decorated swimmer of all time. I mean, you're really showing out, God. Yeah. I literally have video of him in the back where Michael Phelps is telling him how to tread water. I was like, is this happening? [cheering] Okay, God. Like, okay, I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. But God was speaking. And so, long story long, I go over to the Middle East. I fall out of a helicopter backwards into the Red Sea. I have to swim and do a whole bunch of different things that were absolutely insane. But that allowed for the resources to be made available for us to be able to come back three days before we're supposed to close on this house. I literally break my hand over there on this tele. If you go back, watch the

first season of Special Forces, you'll see I broke my hand. And from that standpoint, I came home, we made the closing on this property. That's a cliffnotes version of what it took for us to get that property. The purpose that I'm telling you that story is because what it took us to get that property. We now start doing marriage ministries and we are doing things for couples to be able to come to our Jordan River so that God can heal them and and move in their lives. It just so happened on this one particular weekend that we had four couples that were there. Marriage licensed and family therapists. We are there and we find um we didn't know it at the time but one of the couples who were there uh were not able to conceive.

They were navigating infertility. Navigating infertility. Had done a bunch of different things. Nothing was working. And so the couples that were there on that weekend, they prayed. We all laid hands and we prayed over that couple and they were not only able to conceive. Now, um 2 and 1/2 years later, that little girl that came from that time at the river, uh is our first Jordan River baby. That's it. Uh and praise God for that. [applause] Praise God for that. The reason why we tell you that story is because um that child's life is a return on our investment. So doing all the other stuff that we had to do, circling the wagons to even get that place, for that prayer

to take place, for God to do the miracle that he did, all of that is because we're willing to make an investment and we're looking for the return on souls. And so, um, to take it a step further, we're here with you this weekend. That's it. And we are investing in your marriages. We're investing in your lives. We're investing in your family legacy. We are not spending time here in Ben, Oregon. We are investing time here because we expect to get a return. Amen. We want God to open up the windows of heaven and pour y'all out blessing plural blessings that you will not have room enough to receive. And we want you to know that your marriage, yeah, is a kingdom investment here on the earth.

That's it. And obedience is the currency that funds it. Your marriage is a kingdom investment here on the earth and your obedience is the currency that funds it. All right. So my question for you today is this. Do you like what you're getting out of the time investment that you're making? Meaning, are you focused on the things that are going to last or on the things that are fleeting? Do you know that all the time that you spend on that job after you're all done, if you work at a really like fancy job and after 40 years they might give you a gold watch? Interesting, right? If you don't like the return you're receiving from the investment that you're making, I need you to reinvest.

Yes. I need you to diversify your life's portfolio and ree and re-evaluate your spiritual stock. I believe God loves cheerful givers and I believe that he will honor a responsible investor. That's right. So, how do we make it work? When we talk about work, work, work, work, work, the first thing is we make the main thing main thing. Second thing we do is we work to get a return on our investment. The third thing we do is we take it off. Take it off. Get your mind out the gutter. Come on, my nasty old journey. Nasty couples. [laughter] Remember, we told you we're going to be married forever. And the reason we said that is because we have taken divorce off the table. That's right. As long as divorce is on the table, it's an option. But if you have that option, it's you got too many options.

Yeah. Yeah. Listen, don't make it an option. What do we mean? As long as divorce is an option that's on the table, you have an option to make it not an option. That's it. And even if you've been married again, we still are here to help you know how to take that off the table so you don't start into a cycle where that thing becomes an easier thing to do because it was done once. And listen, we get drama. We get push back for this drama for this because I don't care cuz listen what I know is I'll stand on the word of God. Yeah. Test me if you want to. Yeah. We we get pushed back on this because um because this theology the the Bible allows divorce and that's and that's true because con but context matters. Okay. So yes the

Bible allows for divorce but Jesus tells us why. Matthew chapter 19 verses 6 through8 and it says so they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate. Then the wisdom people, the Pharisees, they say, "Why then?" They asked, "Did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?" Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard." Hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.

Woo. Listen, for the for the people during Moses's time, divorce was permitted. But because of the hardness of their hearts, I want you to wrap your mind around that. God never intended for it to be that way from the beginning. That's right. I made sure to write this down because I wanted to say it exactly the way God gave it to us. Read it. Jesus died to reconcile us to God the Father. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. How can we believe the Son of God could reconcile our sinful lives to a holy God, but yet we cite irreconcilable differences and we don't believe he can reconcile us to another person. Yeah. Divorce is like a weapon. And when that weapon is left on the table, it can be used.

Yeah. If if divorce is an option for you, you got too many options. We're going to give you a quick demonstration here. Hold on. Put this strong. Yeah. Thank you. I feel strong. Amen. This is a lifaver or a lifesaver depending on who you ask. My wife calls it a lifesaver [laughter] depending on who and how it is being used. Mhm. We're going to take this lightsaber and we're going to put it here on the table.

Okay. You come on around here, baby. Okay. I'm going to come in front. Yeah. Now, lightsaber. It's on the table. Yeah. It is available to both she and I. H. So if at any time my wife determines she is not happy with the way our marriage is going, she has access to the lightsaber. H red button. Push it up.

There you go. She has access to a lightsaber. Swing that thing around just a little bit. Let them hear it. If you're familiar with a lightsaber, it's a deadly weapon. Um, if for whatever reason she's not happy with me, if I don't meet expectation, if I'm not the man that she thought I was going to be, if she felt like maybe she made the wrong choice and married the wrong person, if maybe I was unfaithful for any reason, she is able to use this lightsaber. But when she uses it on me,

it may not kill me, but it's going to feel like I'm dying. Cuz a lightsaber can carterize. It cuts pieces off, but the heat from it still can keep you alive. So, it may not kill me, but I may feel like I'm dying. And after you use the lightsaber on me, you have to use it on our kids. You have to use it on our grandkids. Saw Coa the other day. She gets it. You have to use it on our house. You use it on our cars. Use it on our businesses. Use it on our bank accounts. You You use it on our church members, our families, everybody that's invested in our lives and our community. All y'all getting it. Everybody gets it.

And And then after you use it on everybody, then you have to use it on yourself. Maybe not. I'm good. Well, I have access to it, too. H Maybe marriage isn't what I thought it was going to be. Maybe the grass looked greener on the other side. Maybe uh um the the woman that I thought I was marrying is is not who you've become. Maybe uh uh there was infidelity. Maybe I for any reason I can use this lightsaber. And although it may not kill you, it's going to feel like you're dying. It's a fact. But after I use it on you, that's it. I got to use it on my kids.

I got to use it on our house. I got to use it on the car. I got to use it on the bank accounts. I got to use it on our family and friends, all our relationships, our community, everything that we have hands that touch that people watch and see. Our church comm our pastor, everybody gets it. And then after I'm done with that, then I have to use this on myself. This is divorce. And as long as it's on the table, anybody can use it. That's it. So, how do you deal with divorce? Yeah.

You take it off the table. Now, listen. When you take it off the table, I don't know how you make it. I don't know how you get over, and I don't know how you get through. But what I do know is that when it is not an option, you now have to lean on God. You have to discover what it is that he has for you. You have to trust him more than you trust your own self. Because as long as it's not on the table, you don't have to try and figure out how do I get out of this? But God, how are you going to get us through this? It actually eliminates all the questions that you have. Not did I marry the right one? Is this the right thing? You have one question, sir. One question, ma'am. How do we get through this? That's right. That's it. Yeah. One [cheering] question. Now, it may not look pretty. I'm not going to lie to you. There have been days where I've been like, "Oh, dear God." Yes.

But what I can tell you is my one question is how, God? Show me how. That's right. That's right. And let me I'm just going to go a little bit further because we're talking about taking it off. Um I fly a lot. A lot. a lot. Like a lot a lot. Like when the Delta people see him, they're like, "Oh, Mr. Jordan, how are you today, sir?" I'm like, "Listen, [laughter] no. I really I do fly a lot." Like the the captains write me love letters when I get on the plane, like be in my chair be like, "Mr. German, we're so glad." I I've I fly quite a bit and I learned a secret uh about flying. Um I fly first class. I [laughter] just I just I I've been flying long enough to know that when I fly, I'm going to fly

first class. I will pay to fly first class. And I love it because they give you certain things in first class. There's certain benefits that come along with flying first class. And I am not shy about flying first class. What I mean by that is, you know, I don't kind of have my first class ticket when they say we're boarding first class. I don't, you know, excuse me, I'm sorry, I'm in first. No, I'm like, yeah, that's me. I'm I'm like standing at the front of the line. I'm I'm ready to go first class because I pay to fly in first class. And not only that, I recognized a couple of different things. When I am flying first class, or not even just

flying first class, I have learned that every plane that I have ever been on, as a matter of fact, every plane that you have ever been on, facts, they don't give the pilot a parachute. Why is that? Did you know that? And listen, I'm okay with that. I don't want my pilot to have a parachute. You know why? It's too many options. Too many options. One job. You got one job. And and listen in in your seat. They give you a life vest. They give you oxygen. They give you seat belt. They don't give y'all parachutes. Do you know why? Too many options. Some of y'all at the first sign

of turbulence or or little bounciness or whatever, you be ready to to pull the rip cord and jump out and jeopardize the entire flight. Now, here's what I need y'all to get. Follow me here. The reason why they don't give you parachutes on a plane is because that's not what a plane is designed to do. A plane is designed to take off to fly to enjoy the journey and to reach its destination. A plane is designed to take off fly journey and reach its destination. And that is what your marriage is designed to do. God designed it to take off, fly,

enjoy the journey, and reach its destination. And some of y'all are trying to pull the rip cord on something that was never intended to be abandoned. Your marriage was not intended to be aborted. And some of you are playing around with parachutes. [applause] And you're going to take the whole plane down. You're going to take the whole marriage down. and everybody else who was on that plane with you. So, here's what you need to do. Being that you're on a marriage flight, you might as well fly first class. Amen. Because you're paying for it. The hell that you're going through, the difficulty that you're going through, the challenges that you are going through, being that you're paying for it, why not step up to the front of that line and be like, I want a first class marriage. I'm paying for it, so I want to fly first class. I want to have first

class intimacy. I want to have first class relationship. I want to be in a first class opportunity to reach my destination and enjoy this journey. And listen, there's going to be turbulence. It's going to get a little rocky. And when that happens, I pull my seat belt a little tighter. I kick my seat back and I enjoy the ride because I paid to be in first class marriage and I recognize that it's going to take off. Come on. We're going to enjoy the journey and we will get to the other side. Are y'all with us this morning? Yep. Amen. Amen. So remember, we're doing this as we work. Number one, make the main thing the main thing. Number two, return on investment. Yep. Number three is take it off. And number four is D L YO. That's don't leave yourself options.

Don't leave yourself. I don't even want to put this back on the table. It's going to stay. You got that right. on a flow. Malachi 2:16 says it this way. For the Lord thy God of Israel says that he hates divorce, for it covers one's garments with violence, says the Lord of hosts. Therefore, take heed to your spirit that you do not deal treacherously. Yeah. God hates divorce. He loves you, but he hates divorce. Yeah. Yeah. I had the right to leave, y'all. I'mma let that sit for a second. according to the word of God, I had the right to leave. But I asked the Lord, "What is it that you want me to do?" I'm going to expand on that a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So, when all of this was happening, um, this was about year seven, and I just understood and come to realize we had a a friend of ours that we vacationed with every year. And so, it's going to be my 30th birthday. And she says, she calls me and she says,"I want to let you know I'm not coming." What? What are we talking about? She said, "And where's Montel?" And I was like, "He's right here." So he talks to her on the phone and I see as he's talked to her on the phone, he goes, "She white." And basically what I'm black facts, I'm black. And for me to go sheet white, you already know what's happening. Yeah. So what's happened is is that she's discovered that um there's been infidelity in our marriage and she's given him an ultimatum and says if you

don't tell her I will. And so now you have a choice. And so at this time we find out that the first seven years of our marriage really the the last five have been a farce. Okay? They've been um riddled with infidelity and things that were happening. And so what's happening at this point in our marriage is I find out um all of these things, but I realize, all right, I get mad. I get upset. I go to confront. I know some of these people. Some of these people are in my inner circle. Like I go and I go to confront people. And my friend who called me, she I'm meeting with her before I'm about to fly back and I'm about to do what I'm going to do. And cuz remember I made the ultimate and I said if you cheat then I'm out and remember all that.

Okay. So you got to have you some real ones. You got to have some real friends that'll check you in the most heated exchanges of your life. She said, "I just have one question for you. Will you come to lunch with me?" Sure. She says, "My one question for you is what did God say?" Sir, ma'am, I didn't even ask because I already know what he's gonna say and I'm not trying to hear that. So, when I get back to Atlanta, cuz I flew all the way overnight and then I flew directly and I drove exactly to church because I don't know if you know it, but you better find the best refuge you can find. And so, I went to church and we had three services as well. And the first service went by and I sat in

my car and the second service went by and I sat in my car and then the third I had mustered my strength to get okay God like we're going to go we're going to go in here and I'm going to meet you and you're going to tell me what I'm supposed to do. And as I'm walking in, he [snorts] is walking out. And I was like, "Come on. Seriously, this is what we're doing?" But I walk past him and I walk into the sanctuary and in a non altar time. The sanctuary was 8,000 people big. And you have me at the front of the altar weeping and crying my eyes out like Hannah.

They thought I was drunk cuz I was crying like that. And I said, "God, what do you want me to do?" And I unequivocally heard the word of the Lord say, "Stay. You and your daughter's life depend on it." I didn't know what that meant. And there was no further instruction. So I was wrestling with the thought of really God, you want me to stay? But one thing I know is is that God is a sovereign God. And that was a really churchy word until that moment. The churchy word means he knows what I don't and I trust him. That's sovereign. But what I realized is is that I didn't realize that in the moment, but again, we talked about last night that the enemy has no new tricks because he's not

creative or innovative in any way. I was the same years old. I was married the same amount of years. My daughter was the same years old. And it was over the same issue that my parents divorced. Interesting. Yeah. And babe, here's here's the deal. Um there were people at that time, like you said, you you had you had the the right to leave. I did. People said, "Leave and take half." Yep. And God says, "Stay and have it all. People said you can legitimately like you can be out and take half. And God says, "Yeah, and you can legit legitimately stay and have it all." And I want you to know if you've ever experienced a divorce, I don't know if you know this, but your chances of divorcing again now go up to over 70%.

It's really really important because we don't want anyone to experience if you have experienced divorce and you're now remarried that number skyrockets because you've seen it done or experienced it and it can happen again and we don't want you to experience that again. So our time is about to uh wind down. We we're moving probably a little slower through these uh parts through these parts, but we're going to do this just really quickly. We're gonna give you 10 options that you do not need in your marriage if you're trying to work, work, work, work, work. We won't be able to go deep into these, but maybe throughout the the rest of the day, there'll be hot spots. You ready? And it's okay if you go Yeah. It's okay. Yeah. Okay. So, these are options you don't need. These are options you can take off the table. Number one is separate bank accounts.

Number two, [laughter] If if you got my money and your money, you got an exit strategy. You got an exit strategy, not an eternal strategy. All right. Prenuptual agreements. Yep. Remember, you're in a covenant, not a contract. These are things you don't need. Friends and family. Man, you know what? You should just leave him. Don't have them conference. Yeah. Secrets and unrepented sin. Yeah. You got that secret. You hiding that unrepentant sin. I want you to know hidden sin could be the lid on your legacy. Woo! Unresolved conflict. Yep. Allowing something to simmer. Allowing something to just stay there. I'm going to be resentful. I'm gonna hold this. I'm going to put this in my pocket to remember so I can bring it up later. Guess what? Ephesians 4:26 and 27

says it this way. Be angry, but do not sin. And do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil. Yeah, some of y'all going to bed angry. You going to bed mad. You just wake up madder. Y'all listen. Don't do that. That's like a crock pot. Y'all know what a crock pot is? That's when you put all that stuff in there and just set it and forget it. In the morning, that thing done bubbled over. It's been simmering all night. It's been That thing don't Come on, y'all. Number six, emotional decision making. I'm not in love with him anymore. What? Come on. What? Listen, if you are Have we heard people say that before? I love him, but I'm not in love. Listen, God was so gracious. He gave us He didn't want you to fall in love with your spouse just one time. That was suck that I fell in love with her one time and that was it.

He allows us to fall in and out of love time and time again so I can continue falling in love with my wife over and over again. So, if you're not in love with your spouse right now, great. We're so glad you're here because this is an opportunity for you to fall in love with your spouse again. That's it. talked talked about uh nagging and verbal nagging and verbal badgering. Proverbs 14:1 says it this way, "The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish one pulls it down with her own hands or her own mouth. The only thing worse than a nagging woman is a nagging man." Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just saying. Can you Can you say that again? The only thing worse than a nagging woman is a nagging man. That's right. That's right.

And then uh there's a couple more. Uh harboring unforgiveness. That's that's a major one, y'all. Listen, we don't have the right to not have forgiveness. The the Lord says that if you can't forgive somebody after he's forgiven you all the things he's forgiven you for, he can't forgive you anymore. Are you saying that you're not going to do anything else from this point forward? If you're not, then you don't have that luxury. You don't have the right to not forgive. Yeah. These are things you don't need. needed. These are things that are on the table for y'all and they need to be taken off the table. One is unwise counsel. Number nine is unwise counsel. Proverbs 11:14 says, "Where there is no counsel, the people fall. But in a multitude of counselors, there's safety." We say, "In a multitude of wise counselors, there's safety." Because some of the people you got counseling, y'all are not wise. And you're taking unwise counsel into your life. Uh and

let me tell you, wise counsel will always line up with the word of God. Say it again. Wise counsel will always line up with the word of God. Uh and then um yeah, I think that's uh I think that's all. Number 10. Where is it? Best friends. Best friends. Oh, yeah. Best [laughter] friends. Yeah. And uh some of y'all got best friends that um they they shouldn't be best friends. Th This is my best friend. This is my best friend. This is my best friend. And and one of the things that we learned about best friends, I had a best friend at one point that he was my best friend, but he felt like when we got married, it still was like, "Yeah, but then we've been together for a lot longer than I've known her or whatever." And so he still wanted to be best friends. Some of y'all have relationships outside of your marriage and friendships that are outside of your marriage. And literally what we had to get was we needed to have

not my best friends and her best friends. We had to get our best friends because here's the thing. If y'all have people in your lives that can't see y'all, they can't see y'all. Got it? Y'all missed that. If the people in your lives can't see y'all, they can't see y'all. Bye. Let the [laughter] Let the door hit you where the good Lord split you. Yes, indeed. Amen. All right. So, we go more into detail with this um these 10 options, all these different pieces. This is all in the resources and the curriculum that pastors talked about where the QR code was there to be able to get the uh the book, the workbook, all of that uh stuff is there available for you. And I think they made something really, really cool.

Well, if you purchase our children's book, my wife is releasing her very first children's book on September 1st. I'm excited, y'all. Yeah. And and a little context uh behind that is if we are able to sell between 6,000, not just y'all, but if we can sell between 6 to 10,000 copies, we're pre-ordering it now. We can make the New York Times bestseller list. And so every place we're going, the reason it's significant, guys, is that because Christian books and Christian authors for kids are almost non-existent. Yeah. And so they have a lot of different messaging for kids that they're filling your kids with from the very beginning so that they can confuse your kids and not allow them to see the truth. What these books do is is it uh turns fear on its head

and allows God to speak into truth for your children. And so that's what we're trying to institute. And so we want to make a big statement. We want to make a big statement and say God is here. He is king and he's got your kids. Yeah. We want central Oregon representation. Central Oregon uh [laughter] representation. So I think it is if you purchase three of these books, you get the $997 curriculum for free. For free and you end up getting three books to be able to use for your kids with your family and friends and to give them uh away. So okay, last thing. All right, that was it. Last one is uh words with friends. uh and that is uh after making the main thing the main thing getting return on investment taking it off don't leave yourself options and then words with friends uh I love games I love spades I love bitwis I

know uno pictionary taboo I love games but when it come to words Montel don't play I do not play games when it comes to words here my words this is my best friend we are best best friends my best friend and we love words and the power that those words carry. The question is, what words are you working with? That's right. What words are you speaking of your spouse? It's important because you have life and death in the power of your tongue. Everything that your spouse is, you put there, but that's it. You have the power and the authority in your mouth to speak him to be exactly what you've decided that he would be. The Lord told me who this man was. In the midst of the darkest

days of my life, as I sat in my prayer closet, I was like, "Lord, he's this. He's that." Blah, blah, and I talk to God like that, guys. Sorry. And and you know what the Lord does to me? He's But what does the Lord What does the Lord do, ma'am? What did I say he is? And the Lord told me that he was a mighty man of God. He told me he was a mighty man of valor. He told me that he was a wonderful husband and a faithful husband. He was an incredible dad. That he would be a watchman on the wall and people would come to him for wisdom. And that he would spread wisdom that would change lives. Now, in the moment, I was not that. I was not that. Y'all please catch this.

This is I know we're going over time right now, but this is super super important. When the Lord was telling her the things that I was, I was not those things. But what he did was so kind and so gracious. He gave me scriptures to back it up. And he said, "Every single day, I want you to speak it over him." And for many, many months, many, many months, I would speak it over him. And I would speak life. And then I was like, "All right, God, we got this. He's the head and not the tail. He's above and not beneath." I mean, I got sassy with it, guys. Okay. But then it didn't start that way. It did not start that way. In the beginning it was he's the head and not the tail above and not beneath and you know what I mean but the thing [laughter] not lying but guess what after a while I got a little swag with it right but then God is always he's so gracious and so

kind now I want you to speak it over him speak it to his face and every time that you bring life I need you to bring it to him you're an amazing amazing man of God. Thank you for being the head of our home. Thank you for being an amazing provider. Thank you for being a great dad. Thank you for being a faithful husband. Thank you for being so full of wisdom that you have so much to pour out into the friends and family that we have around us. I I need y'all to get this, please. everything that she was saying I was not him.

When she's saying to me, "Thank you for being the spiritual head of our house." I'm not. When she's saying, "Thank you for being a faithful husband, for being a good father." I wasn't. And she's saying stuff about me that I couldn't see in myself. She's saying stuff about me that she couldn't see, but she was saying what God saw. And because she was willing to say what God saw even though she couldn't see it and I couldn't see it. The faithfulness, the consistency, the journey of taking those things and

calling those things that are not as though they were over and over and over and persistently and continuously at some point. And I'm talking to some man in here today and I'm talking to some woman that does not recognize the power that you have in your tongue. I was in a position where when she kept saying that over me, thank you for being the head of the house. I'm like, I'm not the head of Thank you. Thank you for being the spiritual leader in our I'm not the spiritual over and over and over again. At some point when she says, "Thank you for being the spiritual head of our home." Something said, "Maybe I am. Maybe I am the spiritual head of our home. Thank you for being a good father to our children. I

Okay, maybe I am a good father." And what she started to speak God's words, not hers. She started that part again. Not her words, God's words. She was gifted the ability to pull out of me what God placed inside of me. Because listen, if she's healed and I am wounded, we're wounded. Because God don't see two of us. He sees one of us. And so because she wanted to heal herself too, she starts using the word of God to pull the things out of me to become the I'm promise y'all the preacher, the man of God, the speaker, the leader, the everything that I am right now is

because God used this woman to pull that out of me. [applause] But I want y'all to see something. God already knew who he was. All I needed to be was obedient. It's not about me because I have I'm I'm not special in this context. The word works. It does not come back void. You have the power that in the authority in your mouth to speak life and it be life. You also have the power to speak death and it be death. What will you choose? You don't have to be special. You have to be obedient. That's it. That's what she said. She was not special. She was obedient. And for some of our wives out there, this is not a destination. It's a journey. But I

promise you, if you ask God, not what you see, not how you see him. If you ask God, God, how do you see him? How do you see him? I promise you, God is faithful to listen. is work, work, work, work, work. But it's not always your work. Come on. It's your obedience to let God work do the work that we can't humanly do on our